Saying Yes to the Dress!

     I had ordered what I thought was my dream dress in May.  It was very elegant and I fell in love with it the moment I saw it.  I placed an order with the designer and things began falling in place.  There were a few speed bumps, but nothing out of the ordinary.  Before I knew it, there was a (very heavy) box on my front porch when I came home. 

     After calling everyone I knew, I raced over to my Mamaw's house to try it on.  We carefully got the dress out of the box and admired it for a while.  I was so excited!  I finally stepped into the dress and the anticipation was building.  In the next moments, I heard the most horrifying sentence a bride can hear: "It doesn't fit...."  WHAT?!  *Insert ugly crying here* All I could think was "how in the world does this dress NOT fit?!"  I had ordered the dress one size bigger than what I normally wear and I sent in my measurements.  


     I'm sure it was on a website somewhere, but nobody told me that wedding dresses can run 4-6 sizes smaller than a normal dress size.  Ladies, save yourselves the heartache, try on the dress in person.  You will thank yourself later.  You can never be too careful.


     I contacted the designer of the dress and told them about my current predicament.  He couldn't make the dress in a larger size, but he did let me send it back considering I had sent in my measurements and was under the impression that they could work with that.  I sincerely loved that dress, but it obviously wasn't the one for me.  I began searching for new options.  I looked at stores in Charlotte and Atlanta and fell in love with the designers at New Natalie's Bridal in Norcross, GA.  I booked my appointment and prepared myself to try new styles and find the dress of my dreams.  When the day arrived, my parents, Mamaw, my MOH and one of my bridesmaids loaded up into my mom's truck and made the two and half hour journey to wedding dress heaven.  The people in that car must have loved me a lot.  Four people in the backseat proved to be a tight fit.  I think I'm the only one that complained, as I rode on the seat belt buckle the trip down.  Everyone else took it like a champ.


      When I arrived, I received what I affectionately refer to as "The Princess Treatment".  Everyone wanted to know about me.  They asked about the wedding, my fiancé and what I was looking for.  There were SO many gowns.  At first I felt overwhelmed, then I realized that I was living every bride’s dream.  My family selected a few gowns and my consultant, Hope, pulled a few as well.  Hope was ON point.  She listened to me and grabbed dresses that fit my description perfectly.  

     The first dress I tried on was in my normal dress size.  It didn't fit, of course.  Hope explained to me that the dresses are just made that way and that the size on the dress is nothing more than a number.  (It's a really silly number if you ask me- why can't all these designers just get with the program??)  I felt so much better about my previous dress mishap.  The next one was beautiful.  She laced up the corset back and made me go out and show my family.  There were no mirrors in the dressing room, so my family actually got to see the dress before I did. They immediately all started crying.  I think a lot of it was seeing me in a wedding dress for the first time.  I was in shock when I finally looked at it in the mirror.  You picture yourself in a wedding dress all of your life, but until you actually see it, you can't even imagine the joy.  

     I continued and tried on many other ones.  I knew the moment I saw myself in "the dress" and it was really one of the happiest feelings in the world.  I thought the first dress I had ordered was the dress of my dreams, but I was very wrong.  All of that stress and sadness I felt over the first dress just melted away.  Some times we don't know exactly what we want, but we know it when we see it.  I think that's how this shopping experience was for me.  I had an idea of what I thought would look good on me, but I didn't have a specific image in mind.  

     Once I fell in love with the dress, my consultant picked a few veils that would match.  I tried them on with the dress and immediately knew which one I wanted.  Hope placed it in my hair and fluffed it up for me.  It was beautiful and it was mine.  It was my own kind of perfect.

     The most important lesson I learned from my experience is that brides need to allow room for error.  I ordered a dress that I thought would be the one and it didn't fit.  I gave it another shot and somehow found the most perfect dress I could ever imagine.  I wasn't calm at first, but when I finally got a grip, I realized that 1) I had time and 2) it was going to be okay.  Often times we expect things to go smoothly, but life is quick to remind us that we don't have it all figured out.  Lesson learned!  

XO,

Jordan




Here's to a long and happy engagement!

      The photo above was taken just a few minutes before Josh proposed to me.  He is actually holding the ring in his pocket.  It was perfect.  Where's the picture of him proposing?  That's a funny story.  He and my mom had discussed it prior to the big day and he was supposed to say the code word "hamburgers" when he was ready to pop the question.  At that moment, my mom was supposed to get the camera ready and take the picture.  Well folks, he forgot the code word.  In his defense, the word hamburger is a bit odd to incorporate into a regular sentence at the Biltmore House, the most extravagant place in North Carolina. Despite not having a picture of him on one knee, it was still perfect.  I remember it vividly and I'm not entirely sure that a photograph would have done the moment justice, as it wouldn’t have been able to capture the joy I felt.  The intimacy of the moment is ours alone and I really love that.

     One of the first things that came to mind after I called family, sisters and friends was "when in the world is this going to happen?" I originally picked a date in January 2015, which would have been a 23 month engagement.  After a few months of being engaged, I realized that just wasn't practical for myself.  I'm quick to say "myself" because it was a very personal decision.  My family was able to adjust and prepare accordingly for the date to be moved up and the circumstances were in my favor.  I didn't move the date up because there is something wrong with long engagements, I'm just entirely too impatient.  There's no such thing as an engagement that is "too long" or "too short".  It really just depends on the couple, what they want and what they can feasibly do in a certain amount of time. When choosing the length for my engagement, there were a few things that I carefully considered.

What does being engaged mean to me?  

Obviously, it means the world to me!!!  Not only do I get to marry the man of my dreams, plan a wedding (which has been a blast), and be queen for a day, but I have the opportunity to become closer to Josh.  My relationship with Josh has always been wonderful.  A combination of that and all of the other great things in my life lead me to diagnose myself with what I like to call "life couldn't get any better" syndrome.  This occurs when you fall head over heels in love with your life and realize just how infinitely blessed you are.  It's a beautiful thing, but guess what?  It actually does get better!  Somehow I found a happiness beyond what I ever thought possible. The excitement is indescribable.  

When?  Where? HOW MANY PEOPLE?

I don't actually know why I thought I could handle a January wedding.  I have weather issues.  I complain if it's too cold and I whine if it's too hot.  I'm fickle and I know it.  I picked May in hopes of moderate temperatures and mild weather.  (I'm not sure I will get either of those things if the weather in Western NC this year is any inclination of what's to come.  That's another issue entirely, though.)  Next we had to decide where.  I began researching venues in and around the Waynesville area and realized that there was going to be a big problem.  That big problem was our massive guest list, which in all honesty is not a problem at all.  To know and love so many people is a blessing, rather than a curse.  Most venues had a limit of 150 guests.  The ones that allowed 200 and up were entirely too expensive.  I refuse to spend $20,000 on a building for my reception and was immediately insulted when I was quoted that price.  I'm sure the woman wasn't trying to offend me, but goodness, MAMA DIDN'T RAISE NO FOOL.  Even though the idea was right in front of our faces the entire time, we decided that we would like a church wedding and a reception in a different (but reasonable) location.  It took my mom pointing it out to us to make us realize that that was not only the best place for such a large wedding, but the best place for our religious ceremony to take place.  It was really a win-win.  Both the church and reception location are booked and reserved.  Yay!

So...back to the engagement length...

I knew that I needed a year at the very least.  Why?  I just did.  I sincerely love being engaged and I don't want to rush it. Aside from that, we are planning a large wedding and it takes a bit more time for that too.  There are some days when I wish that the date was already here, but I know that we chose the right thing for ourselves. We decided on a 15-month engagement.  We've had time to buy a house, adopt a dog (totally my idea, there was a lot of peer pressure involved) and take our time choosing the fun stuff- food, decorations, colors, etc.  Could I have planned my wedding in 6 months?  Sure.  Being a college student, I'm good under pressure and am capable of handling last minute details, but I spend too much of my life doing that.  My life at college is constantly rushed.  It's pure madness some days.  Assignments and papers are turned in last minute and I'm up all night studying for exams.  I get the job done, of course, but I hate the chaos.  I decided I didn't want to be rushed when planning a wedding.  This may be one of the only times in my life when I get to take as much time as I want to make things just the way I want them to be.  An opportunity like that doesn't come often.  

XO, 

Jordan

PS- How cute is my dog?  Totally worth the peer pressure.  

What to expect when your expecting...engagement edition. (The good, the bad, and the ugly.)

I began officially dating my fiancé on June 25, 2012.  On February 9, 2013, he proposed to me in front of my parents and grandparents at the Biltmore Estate in Asheville, NC.  It was on that day that my life changed forever.  

What did I expect?  For some reason, I expected time to fly. I expected my friends, family, and coworkers to be as excited as I was for such a joyous occasion.  I expected my Pinterest to come to life and all of my wildest wedding fantasies to become a reality.  Imagine my surprise when things didn't go as planned.  

I'm thankful to report that my family has been nothing shy of supportive.  Not only do they love my fiancé, they have been quick to include him in every aspect of our family life- including birthday parties, holiday celebrations and Tuesday night dinners at Mamaw's.  As I'm planning a wedding, I couldn't imagine not having their support, kind words and input.  *Insert sign of relief*

Immediately following my engagement, I received hundred of Facebook "likes" on our pictures, warm wishes and millions of questions about the date, time, location, etc.  It was so overwhelming!  Then reality hit, HARD.  As time passed, the people in my life that had boarded what I refer to as "The happy train” slowly began making an exit.  No longer were some of my friends happy for me.  The warm wishes were quickly replaced with snide comments about how their long-time boyfriend have yet to propose, or rude tweets about how "people", (myself and other happily engaged couples) are too young to be married, or wasting our youth.  The bitterness of others began dragging me down.  I spent a month of my engagement feeling sorry for the people in my life that were feeling sorry for themselves.  One morning I woke up and realized the madness that I was allowing in my life.  I put my "big girl panties" on and I forgave myself.  I continued by forgiving the people who had hurt me with harsh words and social media posts and I began planning what is going to be the best day of my life.

As a newly engaged woman, I began being questioned.  I'd like to address some of these questions so that we can clear the air a bit.  Maybe it will inspire other future brides to think carefully about how they would answer these questions too. 

"Don't you think you're too young to be engaged and getting married?  I mean we are just in our 20's..."

Answer:  No, I don't think I'm too young to be engaged.  I trust the Lord and his plan for my life.  I'm happy.  

Explanation of my answer: People will have something to say.  Whether you are 2o or 55, people will always think you are not the appropriate age for something.  That was one of the most difficult concepts for me to grasp.  Do you know why they feel that way?  They think and feel the way that they do because of their own age, their knowledge of life, and their current circumstances.  Most of the people questioning me have been my peers, people in their 20's, who weren't engaged or in a committed relationship.  Aside from the possibility of jealousy, their questions were rooted in misunderstanding.  One of the most important life lessons I've learned from answering this question (over and over again) is this:  people will always question what they don't understand.  How would someone who has never been engaged understand your engagement?  And a better question: how would someone who has never been in your relationship, in your shoes, or involved in the decision making of your life EVER understand your readiness to be engaged?  The answer to both of those questions is: they don't understand (surprise, surprise).  As much as they believe they have a firm grasp on your life, your reality, and your situation, they don't. Bless their hearts- somewhere in that question, they are thinking of your best interest.  It's buried deep under self-interest, of course, but their concern for you, no matter how small, should never be overlooked.  Humans are flawed. They will ask you questions that really rub you the wrong way.  Politely smile, thank them for their concern, and shake any negative vibes you feel coming your way.  One of my sisters shared a Mother Teresa quote that put a lot of this in perspective.  I hope it will help you, too.

“People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway. 

If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway.

If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.

The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway. 

For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.”

― Mother Teresa

"Can I be a bridesmaid?  Why in the world did you choose HER?" 

There were many answers to this question.  Though this is overwhelming, I learned to take it in small steps.  Reality: All friends have a secret hope that you will ask them to be a bridesmaid, even if they really have no interest in participating.  Why?  It's a flattering question and really one of the sweetest things you can ask of someone!  Reality:  You can't pick all of your friends to be a bridesmaid.  Reality: People will be angry with you for not including them and including someone that they don't approve of.  WOW, right?  Say Yes to the Dress Bridesmaids and other wedding shows didn't prepare me for that.  My advice? Choose confidently and be satisfied with your decision.  The women you have by your ride are participating in the greatest day of your life.  Politely ignore any insinuation that they are not worthy of their title.  Appreciate them and UTILIZE THEIR TALENTS.  They are talented and beautiful and can offer an outside opinion that you may have not thought of.  They really are the best sidekicks any bride could ask for.  

If a lot of that seemed terrifying and overwhelming, that’s accurate.  That was my reality the first 5 months of my engagement.  If I could go back in time, I wouldn’t have let things bother me, I wouldn’t have let people get to me, and I definitely wouldn’t acknowledge what I know today to be senseless wedding drama.  I don’t think my situation is unique to engagements.  It’s a learning experience and I’m happy to have had my family, fiancé and bridal party by my side to catch me when I was falling.  Some days I fell pretty hard. 

So, now to the good stuff….

Preconceived notion: I will be engaged to the man I love, my better half and the love of my life.  He will treat me right and our wedding day is going to be the best day of our lives.  

Reality: ^ ALL OF THAT IS SO SO SO TRUE.  It's a beautiful and wonderful thing.  It's all worth it, I promise.  

I will leave you with that.  

XO,

Jordan